whats really on my mind-||My Anxiety- part 1
so before i talk about soppy stupid stuff i wanted to address a couple things firstly 'whats really on mind will be a regular appearance including whats really on my mind hence the title i will talk about sad things first world problems and personal things and if your not interested and or think I'm complaining about nothing or thinks that mental issues aren't real' then i suggest you should come back on another week or not at all ^-^.i will try to obey the schedule i talked about last week and i will be doing one of these every month or so.on another note some very lovely regular reader suggested me to do a book review and to be honest i do not read that much because i have a butterfly brain also my dyslexia doesn't help if i  was to suggest a book it would be All I Know Now by Carrie Hope Fletcher  thank you for your suggestion,keep 'em coming :D

right then soppy stuff:
i think i should first talk about anxiety as a kid as this is only part 1 i  never knew what the word 'anxiety' really meant as a kid or that i had it i think   one of  the first 'panic attacks' i had was in year 5 i was in assembly and there was a band playing. It was hot and loud i was admiring the talent of the drummer and singer as they seemed to be..well,good.I then realised i was breathing heavily my vision went blurry and the music and children chatting behind me sounded different the world sounded as if i had cups over my ears,louder but hard to make out one word from another.My best friend at the time asked me if i was okay my stomach flipped my feeling in my legs went  i signalled the teacher i believe i said something along the lines of "i feel sick i  need to go i need to go now now" she was respectfully very confused but could tell something was wrong and she nodded her head ,i didn't know if she meant i could go but i took it i walked out and stumbled to the girls bathrooms my i thought i needed to be sick so washed my face tied my hair back and looked into the mirror breathing slower now telling myself that i was being silly at that moment a very lovely TA walked in and asked if i was ok i cant remember what happened next  i think i tried to erase it from my memory.Anyway this is just one of the the times something like this happened at my primary but i never knew what that was what it meant i just pretended it didn't happen and i don't know if i would be as bad as i am now if i thought more of it,basically today's moral is if you have something on your mind TELL SOMEONE if your really not sure then do what i did to find out what it was ,youtube..yes yes sounds stupid but if you don't know what it is hearing somebody else to relate to is really nice and makes you realise that its not just you being silly ( Btw the video that helped me was Zoellas video from a while ago).

have a lovely day y'all sorry this was a long'n

remember: grammar and punctuation is for losers later hater stay you boo 
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